sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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