the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
