If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
