How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
