I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
