you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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