Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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