I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize