i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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