Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
