He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
