There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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