Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize