just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize