Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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