I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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