you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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