I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Found your dick twin last night
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
