I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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