right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
