Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
