I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
