I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
