"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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