It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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