So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
