I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
