I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
