He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
