mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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