with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I met the friendliest cop last night
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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