My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize