Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize