wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
