You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize