i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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