tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
