why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
