Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
