just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
