put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
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