He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
