escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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