Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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