Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
