My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
