We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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