and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
