The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
