My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
