She is in my trunk
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
