Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
sex in a hospital.. check
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
