Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
