Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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