Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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