Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
