It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It's Friday. Sex?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
