I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
