420 ftw
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He felt like a one man threesome
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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