and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
