remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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