your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
