With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
