hotel room ftw
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
