Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize