I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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