And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
