Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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