Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
