you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
a search helicopter?!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize